I was looking I did seek in silence for I could not speak in colours were my expectations built upon a myriad of false assumptions that good would be rewarded
what part of the brain will only grieve for all that we chose to believe
before we discovered resignation?
beneath a tree of dying stars I sat one day to count my scars
each a tale that I could tell if I were ever feeling well
each a lesson still unlearned each a time when I got burned
similar in appearance yet not all the same there are many that still bear your name
those I do not wish to heal for they remind me how to feel
the probing tentacles of love
at some point, as the coldness grew, I forgot how to cry.
in the silence love withdrew, I forgot to ask it why.
at some point it always seemed to matter.
then,
at some point, on a cold and barren day, I noticed it had gone away
at some point I no longer felt loves overwhelming surge.
here, then gone I wondered when those two points did merge.
upon my cheeks I felt no tears, I tasted not the salt.
at some point when her spirit flew,
things came to a screeching halt.
at what point does love become just a small part of regret?
this is where I used to wait, by the door at thirty eight. to catch a glimpse of a thing most rare, the sight of you floating through the air; in your dress and evening coat, you would not walk, no you would float.
for this is where you would retreat, where the floors knew the pleasure of your feet.
where the air was consecrated with your scent. this was where I, the unwashed went.
where the walls were anointed with the voice that I came to love, I had no choice.
At thirty eight, NOT thirty nine. this was the Cathedral of You, the Divine.
the past gives way uneasily yet pieces still remain
Oh how I feel for the sky Overused by poetry and rhymes It’s in the sentence that follows “We stayed up all night”
Oh shouldn’t it concern me If we shrink beauty to fit into our minds Don’t have to listen to the whole song To know what’s in the third line
Tell me should I feel right Tell me should I feel fine About tossing the meaning for the sake of the rhyme But aren’t we good at turning beauty into clichés?
Oh how I feel for the lonely girl Quickly made into a woman by the world They combed sense through her hair Straightening out her curls
While you’re waiting for someone to see you You make fast friends with abuse And you’ll do just about anything it tells you to
But I’ll never feel right I’ll never feel fine With shaping the meaning to fit in the rhyme Changing the human into what sells and buys But aren’t we good at turning beauty into clichés?
It’s never, ever so alphabetical You go out of order and they call you heretical And you just said what nobody had time to hear Pretending the truth isn’t explicit Won’t sensor the people affected by it It’s like the first time you ever heard real music in your ears
It’ll never be enough It’ll never measure up Turning the depth of the ocean to the size of a cup But aren’t we good at turning beauty into clichés?
It’ll never make sense If you make sense of it All the things that make you cry out of happiness But some things are just better left unexplained But aren’t we good at turning beauty into clichés
girls gather in dream to talk about dancing the way girls do,
ginger rogers recalling heels stained girlish pink with blood, her blood sacrificed in pursuit of perfection, weighted dresses floating like her soul,
the girl on the neon sign laughing about her flight up the pole, untouchable even when touched,
joan of arc stepping with deadly grace, calling holy fire into her eyes as bright as the glint of the light on her arcing blade, unextinguishable by any flame…
in this way the multitudes pass the night, girls in scuffed up shoes and grass-stained pants, girls corseted and uniformed, soft and scarred, lost and found, sharp like broken glass and strong like willow trees,