I felt betrayed, the way you do when you discover that your cat has a secret, secondary life, and is being fed by neighbours who call him something stupid like Calypso. Worse is that he loves them as much as he loves you, which is to say not at all, really. The entire relationship has been your own invention.
Someone invited them in and they sat perched on the backs of chairs on the mantel on the banisters and landings hunched like dowagers or the terrible mad old man on a horse I saw one winter hunting over the fields near Oxford:
And they took up residence settled into our living space watching us out of their alien eyes arranging their feathers to look like fur a tang of salt and diesel in the air as they hopped from room to room heads cocked picking up scraps of household talk:
All that winter their hooded shapes absorbed the daylight shrouded like statues in Lenten Churches they were large full bodied unyielding oily and plump if you bumped against them on the stairs in the dark:
And the house filled up with the weight of moisture in the atmosphere mould grew on the phone and nobody answered when we rang the neighbours couldn’t remember our names:
Everything heavy with forgetfulness but for the birds forever diving through gaps in the conversation bringing up words that had slipped from the page and colours that slid off the wall to fall through the cracks in the floor or come to rest with the spoons and forks in the kitchen drawers:
Till again it was spring and suddenly some of the gobbets of thought the birds dredged up took shape on the kitchen floor where the sun shines in
twisting around until the birds were named – our own familiar selves identified too late:
In the drawer of the desk the family of knives and forks and spoons and spools of words and thread and paper bags and broken things were meaningless: were what they were the soul’s detritus oil-stains on the water a raft from the Medusa.
First time reading my words aloud. Such a trip, I never thought I’d do it. (The clicks are when the audience shows appreciation for a line which I thought was a nice touch)
**sorry about posting this several times to my reblogs Page I’m having technical difficulties**
NICE JOB!!! really! HUGGS!!
i write to you, in dreams I soon forget.
as if the words are telling me we have not happened yet.
thought pieces still remain,
embedded in my brain,
shrapnel from a mystery that I cannot explain.
some brand spankin new macca! he’s still got it goin on!